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Ŕ Bout de Souffle
Out of Breath
Excuses, Excuses
014
Why do you people always dismiss excuses? If I complain about something, some peculiar little mistake or malice, I inherently imply that I'd like to know what was the cause. Not only do I accept excuses to aberrant behavior because our first nature prescribes self-exoneration, but I appreciate the information as a personal courtesy. So let me tell you a story.

Frank the Squirrel was a very outgoing bachelor. When he wasn't foraging for acorns, he hit up the clubs and parties. He was real slick, Frank was; donned golden accessories, sported the finest colognes, and gelled his fur. Now, this isn't one of those procrastination fables where the squirrel goes out and gets drunk every day and neglects to save up his acorns before winter. Those stories never mention how the squirrel dies a painful, slow, frigid death not before he chews out his own intestines in search of sustenance, but it's implied. No, Frank saved up his acorns, because it's in a squirrel's genetic instinct, and he and I are men of science.

One night, Frank went out to a pool party, and he left his tree, Edgar, unlocked. Some dudes busted in and ripped off all of the nuts. Edgar didn't say a word. When Frank returned, plastered, he noticed that his entire year's savings had been stolen. What the hell, Edgar? Frank moaned. Edgar remained silent. This is the last straw, growled Frank, and he left Edgar alone in the middle of the night, alone on the knoll forever. Edgar felt that something was missing inside, something like acorns. Of course, Edgar couldn't tell Frank that trees can't talk, because trees can't talk. Lesson learned, Edgar.

If you don't have an excuse, at least make one up. A lie is a courtesy.
Recommended by 1 Member
randomjunk
4 Comments.


I like your story.
I really, really do.
» middaymoon on 2008-01-14 07:27:47

Haha, you should write children's books. :P
» randomjunk on 2008-01-14 08:58:38

ahahahaha that really amused me XD
usually if someone mentions the word 'excuse' it's telling me to stop making excuses etc XD
this is a nice change to hear excuses should be made XD i'll tell my daddy that story next time >=]
xxx

L8r,

—×Kuri×—
p.s. i agree with randy =p
» Kuri on 2008-01-15 04:36:31

some things
are inexcusable
» invisible on 2008-01-15 11:25:21

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